Dear Angel,

Although you have come such a long way since you've first figured out you would be a teenage mother, when are you going to realize that the old young selfish ways need to stop? As much as I love watching you're daughter and calling her my niece, I'm tired of getting calls at ten at night so that I can have a one year old who has night terrors spend the night so that you can go out and party. I love the both of you to death, but being used and abused is not something I appreciate.

My boyfriends at some girls house...

He's staying the night.

I know the girl, and I understand the situation.

She's my friend, and his mom is being a complete bitch to him and its making it impossible for him to continue living with her. So he's trying to move out. But he just turned 18, only has a part time job, and he's still in school, so it's kind of hard for him to move out on his own. So it's either he goes on living in his tortuous house, he asks to stay with his grandmother, or he lives in his truck (which is something he keeps trying to do because according to him, the other two options aren't real options. But they are.).

He hasn't been able to talk to his grandma about moving in, and he really didn't want to go home, so he was talking about sleeping in his truck, but I won't let him. I need to know that he's safe somewhere in a bed. So I told him to ask one of his friends if he can stay the night. And who does he ask?

Emily.

Don't get me wrong, Emily is an amazing person and a great friend, but... I don't know. I'm irrationally worried about the situation. In my opinion, Emily is prettier than me, and its almost like my boyfriend can talk to her easier than he can talk to me, so I just feel like they might form feelings for each other or something. They get along great. To the point where I, myself, was even thinking, "They would make a great couple." But then I had to remind myself that he was MY boyfriend.

Of course, when Emily could let him stay, I thanked her graciously, as I should. I'm glad that she could give him a place to stay for the night that wasn't his truck.

But now he's over there... and he's not even sleeping on the couch, no, he's in her bedroom, sleeping on her floor, right next to her.

I know Emily would never betray me like that, and I know that she's currently crushing on two other boys, but its just the thought of him sleeping next to some other girl. The thought of him waking up to say goodmorning to some other girl.

Some other girl, who isn't me.

I don't like it.

I know that I don't need to be worried, but it saddens me a bit... maybe because she's giving him something I couldn't give him...

A place to stay.

My parents would never let him stay the night here.

Oh well.

Goodnight everyone.

I'm just worried

Worried about my Boyfriend

And how he's going to get kicked out

Or how he's going to leave

How he'll be living in his truck

How I can't help him.


Worried about school

And how I missed all my exams due to poor health

What my teachers will say

When I'll have to make them up.

How I'll fail them

And how I'll have to work at some low life job making minimum wage the rest of my life.


Worried about the ACTs

And how I didn't study

How I have to do them and my exams

How I'll fail them

How I won't get into a good college.


Worried about the people I'll have to see

And how I don't want to see them

How I don't want to deal with them

How I don't want them to think they have the upper hand

How I want them to take their bike back.


Worried about worrying too much.


I want my boyfriend to be okay, I want him to stop having so many problems because its draining too much of my energy for my to constantly be thinking about him. I need to be the one crying right now, not him. But who does that? "Excuse me, its not your turn to cry, back to me." Kthnx, I'm not THAT selfish.

I don't want to deal with you. Your a bitch who has her boyfriend, someone who used to be my best friend wrapped around her fingure, and its not fair. Just because you and I couldn't be friends doesn't mean you should be aloud to take him from me too. But  you did. So take back your stupid bike. I'm sick of it taking up my space. And go cry and lie and cheat to someone elses face, because I'm over you. Maybe not the aftermath, but you.

I don't want to take any tests. End of story.


So there it is, I finally finished a post, an just as I thought, its only finished because I'm freaking out.


Now its time for me to go have some nightmares.


Goodnight.